thghts r free.

Carl Gustav Jung once said that at the core of jealousy there is always a lack of love. If I remember the context correctly he meant a lack of love of the jealous person for the object of his or her jealousy, often a romantic partner. As much as I consider Jung one of the greatest minds that ever lived I cannot fully agree with his conviction. Let me explain.

Jealousy is a complex emotion, often considered to have a negative impact on the jealous person and those at whom the emotion is directed. The causes of jealousy can be multiple, differing from individual to individual. It could be a need to control, a fear of loss or being left out, or the belief that a person may be interested in another over you. Jealousy can be expressed in many ways. A jealous person can become possessive, suspicious, controlling, and mistrusting. In some cases a jealous person will lose sight of reality and starts believing things are happening that justify the jealousy, for instance that a partner is cheating. This can have a devastating effect on those affected by it. In short, the cause and impact of jealousy are rarely positive.

However, all this doesn’t reveal much about the underlying reason for jealousy, which is often hidden somewhere deep in the psyche. This brings me back to Jung’s statement about the emotion. Of course it is true that a lack of love could be the cause of jealousy. However, I feel more often than not it is a lack of love for oneself rather than the object of one’s jealousy. That is not what Jung was meaning when he said jealousy is caused by a lack of love. In some case though, when there is an unwillingness to overcome the jealousy it could indicate a lack of love. Still, that is very different from a person being jealous due to a lack of love.

It is in the willingness to overcome jealousy and its impact that the challenge lies. A jealous person needs to acknowledge the jealousy and search for the root cause of the emotion. Like I said, the reason for this is usually hidden somewhere deep within the human mind. If the jealousy is excessive and therefore destructive (one could argue that a small dose of jealousy can be constructive, as it sometimes relights the spark between two people in a relationship) it should be addressed. If ignored it will come and haunt the jealous person whenever it is triggered, often with devastating effects for the person and others affected by the jealousy.